Cry About Your Past
by Silly Wildmage
Summary: Everyone cries at sometime. Kagome is no exception one shot


Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha  
  
"Goodnight Kagome!" Yelled Souta down the hall.  
  
"Goodnight!" Kagome yelled back.  
  
"Stop yelling you two!"  
  
"YES MOM!" they both yelled at the same time.  
  
Kagome then closed her door and looked out the window. Then her eyes started to water.  
  
~ Oh no not again… ~ she thought as her fists went up to rub the tears away. ~ This always happens ~ she sighed as she went to go do her homework. She started her math but then a few tear drops fell on the paper. ~ I can't stop them. I mine as well get that stupid journal out. ~  
  
She got up and went to her closet. As her eyes filled with more tears she reached up and took a shoe box out from the top. Inside was a small black journal bound in leather. Kagome unwrapped the string holding it closed and went to her desk as she took her pencil and put it to her paper.  
  
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Dear Journal,  
  
Why do I cry? Is it some sort of mental problem? No. I know the true reason. Too much has happened in my life to keep quiet for ever.  
  
The first thing, Father. Souta doesn't know what really happened to him. Mom said he died, and even if he didn't he's as good as dead. How could he? HOW COULD HE?! Mother was pregnant with Souta and what does he do? He runs off with some bimbo! That stupid slutty woman he had been having an affair with! And then he has the nerve to come back two years later and ask to be let back in. By then we had grandpa with us so I didn't have to see mommy cry right in front of us. I'm glad grandpa kicked him out! He ought to have known that would happen! And then before he leaves he asks if 'daddy's little girl' Wants to come with! I ought to have slapped him! And then he threatens to come back for Souta! If he does I'll have InuYasha kick his ass!  
  
Next thing that makes me cry, Grandma. It was hard to see mommy then. It had been a year since Father had left and then grandma dies. Poor grandpa. He could barely even make it through the funeral. Souta knows about grandma but he wasn't old enough to get to know her. It's great to see grandpa and mom laugh again after all that crying.  
  
Another thing that makes me cry. InuYasha. That's why I came home early this time. He is such a jerk! And what makes it even worse is that I know he just compares me and Kikyou in his mind. Most likely she wins every time. I'm just the stupid girl/wench/bitch/idiot that he has to put up with to get the jewel shards. I'm surprised that when Kikyou was revived he didn't high tale it off with her. He still sticks around but after that time I saw them kiss I'm almost positive that he runs off to join her when he thinks we won't notice. I don't hate Kikyou. I feel bad for her. But she should have trusted the man that she said she loved. It was her own fault. She could have lived with InuYasha happily if she had just gotten healed instead of gotten revenge.  
  
They all think I'm so happy. Sure I just put on that face. The only time I don't think of my sorrow is when I'm having fun with Sango and Miroku, or when Shippou is curled up in my arms, or when my family and I are spending some quality time together. When I'm alone with InuYasha I can't help but think about how he probably doesn't like me and when I'm at school my mind has to much time to wonder to how much people really don't know about me.  
  
Smile and the world smiles with you. Until I get what's due in my way of smiles I sit and wait with a fake smile on my face.  
  
With my failing strength against life,  
Kagome Higurashi  
  
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With a sigh Kagome closed and put away her journal. ~ It's half way full ~ she thought. She had noticed that all the pages had tear drops on them. ~ At least I stopped crying. All I have to do is wait out this whole teenaged emotional thing ~  
  
She changed into her pj's and got ready for bed thinking about what InuYasha would say if he had seen her crying for no reason except hormones. ~ After all no one else cries about the past as much as I do. ~ she thought as she went to sleep without noticing her door was partway open.  
  
Out in the hall Ms. Higurashi watched as her daughter wrote in her journal again. She knew this happen. When ever her daughter came home early it meant she had a fight with InuYasha. ~ Poor Kagome ~ she thought ~ she thinks no one cries about their past. I cry every so often. Hopefully writing in that journal will help. If not I may have to take her to the psychiatrist ~ and with that she got ready for bed herself. ~ I hope she won't turn out like I did after her father left and mother died ~ she thought looking at her arms that had scars on them. ~ thank goodness for father. ~  
  
Author: Kind of depressing I know. I basically just wrote this so that you people will think about how not everyone is always as happy as they look. Please read and review. It's my first time writing something that's depressing. Sorry if I got you down. Read one of my other stories if you wanna get cheered up. People say that some of them are pretty funny. 


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